Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis. Paperback – August 27, 1996

Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy © 1961 (TAinP) ****½ +Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis. © 1964 (GPP) ****¾ +Scripts People Live: Transactional Analysis of Life Scripts © 1974 (SPL) *****All three of these books have been around for a long time, and all three are well worth reading. I was persuaded to review them together by the first sentence in the preface of GPP: "This book is primarily designed to be a sequel to my book Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy , but has been planned so that it can be read and understood independently." In the years between writing them, it is obvious that Dr. Berne gained valuable experience in one or (more likely) both TA and writing. I am sure I would have found TAinP much tougher going had I not read GPP first, and I recommend you, too, read them in reverse order. You might even consider reading Claude Steiner's SPL first; Dr. Steiner has surpassed even his mentor, Dr. Berne, in making the concepts of TA accessible to the lay reader.You don't have to have serious emotional problems, or have a friend or loved one who does, to benefit from reading these books; they will help you to understand yourself and others better. They will also teach you to recognize the games salespeople try to play with you, so that you can avoid becoming a victim thereof. And if you or a friend or loved one is contemplating psychotherapy or in need thereof, these books can help in choosing a therapist who will go for the cure rather than the maintenance of the problem. The value of making the right choice can hardly be overstated. It is SO much better to learn to become an ex-neurotic or ex-psychotic than to learn to be a better neurotic or a better psychotic!Dr. Berne found that a person is almost always in one of three ego states, which he called Parent, Adult, and Child. Dr. Berne deliberately chose familiar names, instead of jargon such as superego, id, exteropsyche, archaeopsyche, etc. As Dr. Steiner put it, "He rejected the usual psychiatric practice of using one language in speaking with people and another in speaking with psychiatric colleagues. As he developed the new concepts of his theory, he used, in every instance, words which were immediately understandable to most people."* Dr. Berne and his students believed in demystifying patients and the general public, rather than snowing us.Whichever ego state is awake and in control is said to be cathected. (Rarely, two or all three ego states may be partially cathected at the same time, or one or both of the others may be awake but not cathected, and when one is very deeply asleep or in a coma, probably no ego state is cathected.) Roughly speaking, the Parent is the ego state in which one nurtures or criticizes another, the Adult contemplates and processes factual information and solves problems, and the Child has fun or reacts to criticism. Each ego state is appropriate for some situations and inappropriate for others. The nurturing Parent and the critical Parent are both needed in taking care of children or invalids, but the critical Parent can `go hog wild' and become the always-inappropriate pig Parent, which concentrates on destructive, rather than constructive criticism. Irrational prejudices, such as racism and sexism, are functions of the pig Parent, as is the Puritan's `haunting fear that someone, somewhere, might be having a good time.'The Adult is responsible for using factual knowledge, reason, and intuition to solve life's problems. Everyone needs, at times, a well-functioning Adult, and virtually everyone is born with one, but one's Adult can become contaminated by one or both of the other ego states. The Child-contaminated Adult too often engages in `wishful thinking,' while the Parent-contaminated Adult typically accepts as factual the pig Parent's irrational prejudices. The pig parent may even virtually suppress the Adult with a script injunction of mindlessness such as "Don't think!"The Child is cathected when one is having fun. Enjoyment of play and of lovemaking are functions of the Child; it is the Child which makes life worth living. Sometimes the pig Parent manages to suppress the Child with a script injunction of joylessness: "Don't have fun!"* SPL, page 4.watziznayme@gmail.com

Though this book was written decades ago, it's easily relatable to current times. Many may consider this pop or pseudo-psychology now, I still believe its content is relevant.In my opinion, the author wrote from a position of the reader having at least a general understanding of psychology and psychiatry, which he has stated in the book. So, because I have this understanding, I don't have much difficulty with this theory.There are times when the author mentions something that warrants me to either reread a previous section to gain clarity or to be patient for the author to provide clarity in an upcoming section.I felt the first half of the book was a lackluster read, but it's important to stick with it and understand it prior to moving forward.I was recommended this book by my mother, who was exposed to it when it was published, which helped her improve her interactions with others. I appreciate the recommendation because I am also experiencing the benefits. Therefore, I also recommend this book to others.

The bad: the psychoanalytical language is a bit annoying (trying to relate everything back to sexuality). Also its clinically oriented, so only a few of the "games" are applicable to the average person.The good: it highlights some common, sometimes destructive patterns of human interaction. Sometimes these are shockingly accurate for how detailed they are - its as though he was summarizing various parts of my life. The basic premise is that humans go through social interactions at different levels. There is the explicit level and there is the implicit background interaction - for instance when a husband asks his wife if she wants a massage, sometimes he's really asking for sex, and when you ask someone how their day is going, you're really saying "I acknowledge that you exist and we're on good terms". But these hidden interactions can take on much more complex forms that we aren't even aware of, and when people can't address the background causes behind disputes and patterns of behavior it can lead to unhealthy relationships and perpetuate more unhealthy behavior. These hidden interactions are called social "games" hence the title of book. The example that struck me was the brilliantly named "Now I got you, you son of a bitch". It's best explained by example: husband forgets to take out the trash - wife flies into a 20 minute fit of rage about how he doesn't appreciate anything she does, doesn't care about her, only cares about himself and shirks away from responsibility whenever possible. To put it in more plain language than the book uses, the actual focal point of the interaction is irrelevant, its a scapegoat that allows the aggressor to justify their rage and bring up all of their other grievances. It comes from a desire for validation and allows the players to avoid dealing with the undying issues causing the dissatisfaction. If you've never witnessed NIGYSOB being played, I envy you and wish I lived your life in which people always dealt with long standing conflict in a mature manner.